We are sensual beings, yet we are dangerously deprived of touch. Instead of connecting intimately with other people, we deemed it inappropriate, and locked ourselves in boxes, physically separating ourselves from others.

Touch activates oxytocin, a hormone of bonding. This is what build Mother’s love to her child, and the affection between lovers.

A person who doesn’t get enough touch, doesn’t produce this hormone. It’s been shown in many studies that lack of touch leads to improper development of children, both emotionally and physically. And yet we deprive ourselves from touch.

We don’t touch. We have imposed rules as to what types of touch are acceptable and which ones are not. Men touching each other is inappropriate. A man and a woman cannot touch unless they are a couple. Grown up children don’t touch their parents, cause as adults, it’s not ok anymore.

We have completely lost the understanding of what sensuality is. We put it in one box with sexuality, and as sex is a big modern taboo, anything that can be associated with it is immediately  labeled as wrong.

Yes, sensuality can lead to sexuality, just like a dinner can. But sensuality itself is not about sex. You can be sensual with your friends, your family and absolute stranger, for whom you feel no desire at all.

Sexuality is the energy of your second chakra – the Sacral Chakra. It is linked to water and taste. Kissing, bathing and flowing are all watery in nature. It is about your desires and pleasures. It’s about what you want to feel good.

Sensuality, on the other hand,  comes from your Heart Chakra. It’s about unconditional love, with no object, and about a deep, intimate connection. Though it still gives you a lot of pleasure, it’s the blending into one with another being that gives the most high, not the animalistic desire. Sensuality is about touch and bout opening the heart.

We have enough of sexuality but we are starving from lack of sensuality.

Re-learning to open your body to give and receive touch is a beautiful and healing practice. You are a sensual being and you need the touch – so express it! When with friends, hug them. Cuddle with your loved ones and family. Caress each other. Sensuality is a language that allows to express your deep emotions much better than any word will ever do.

Add more sensuality into your sexual relationships and you will no longer have to worry about the passion fading away. If you keep connecting to your partner on the level of your heart, keep offering him your touch and love, you will maintain a strong connection on a physical, emotional and spiritual level.

This is why I am such a big advocate of the sensual massage. It’s a beautiful practice merging sensuality and sexuality perfect for every couple. If we all practices a little bit of sensual massage, we would heal many broken relationships.

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