Become A Heroine In Your Own Story

Our culture has many examples of heroes. They are brave, strong, courageous, and ready to make sacrifices for the greater good. They are winners. The hero always gets a girl. And a castle. Actually, they usually get both.

The kind of a man who becomes a hero is admired. All representatives of the “ugly half” want to be like them, and the “pretty half” wants to be with them.

But what about heroines? Do we praise the heroines as much as we praise the heroes?

Since we haven’t been raised with many examples of true heroines, no wonder most of women don’t know how to step into their power and live their lives as a heroine would. Our strongly patriarchal society is definitely to blame for this bias. More often that a true heroine, we see characters such as Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty who bring nothing more to the table than a pretty face (not too mention powerlessness, naivety, helplessness and a total lack of assertiveness).

These are not heroines.

A Heroine is “a woman admired for her courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities”. And from now on I intend to write it with a capital H.

Whatever the society wants us to believe or be, we have all the right to claim our power, and our lives. Each one of us is born a Heroine. And if on the way we forgot that, than it’s the time to reclaim it.

Here are 5 ways to step into your true power as a Heroine:

Your body is your ultimate source of strength, knowledge, courage and ideas.

As a woman, you have a unique ability to connect to your body. It’s a quality of feminine energy, that men often lack (in fact, it’s one of our gifts we share with men, even when done unconsciously).

Your body knows everything. Anytime you’re not sure what to do next, check in with your body. You don’t need anyone to tell you what to do nor ask anybody for advice. 

All the advice you ever need is in you. Embrace this power and you will be unstoppable.

A consequence of being connected to your body is strengthened intuition. Even though most of people are still skeptical when it comes to miracles and psychic abilities, we all recognise ‘woman’s intuition’, and we know how strong it can be.

It’s not an exaggeration. You are very intuitive. If you feel you’re not, it’s only cause you stopped listening and you forgot how this voice sounds. But once you reconnect with your body you will start hearing your intuition communicate with you more and more. Then, follow that voice.

A masculine way of accomplishing things is based on action. You set a goal, create an action plan, and then you follow thru with each step, staying focused and determined.

Most of us forgot, however, that as women we have ability to get there in a different way, too.

The feminine way is a total opposite. Instead of pushing, you relax and wait. You’ll be surprised how many thing will come to you when you truly relax and trust they will come.

Too many of us forgot our ability to do it, and instead we try to accomplish everything in life the masculine way. But that’s like driving a car on a half-empty tank. Don’t forget that the feminine is just as strong and offers just as many rewards.

One of the sad differences between men and women these days is our lack of boundaries. Too often we let people step on us, we agree to things we don’t want or sacrifice our own happiness for others (seriously, men DON’T do that).

You must have boundaries. And you need to respect them. We teach others how to treat us. If we don’t respect our boundaries, then we’re showing others that they don’t have to respect them either. You are the protector of your space, your body and you life. Don’t let anyone step on you.

Darling, the horrible truth is that we’ve been conditioned to hate all the feminine aspects of ourselves.

We’ve been told it’s bad to be moody. That we shouldn’t ‘act like a woman’ and cry for no reason or burst into anger so easily. Men don’t know what to do when we get emotional, so you should stop.

And you should keep your ‘feminine’ things away from others. Hide your period (or even better take some medicine to stop it altogether). Men don’t want to hear about it, it’s your thing.

And take the pill, because if it wasn’t for you getting pregnant they could have sex with no consequences.

Maintain your weight, they don’t want a chubby girlfriend.

Be sexy. Have curves and boobs. But not too much, cause then you’re slutty (just a few days ago I was attacked by a few men of Facebook for a photo of me where you could see my cleavage). But not too little cause than you’re not attractive.

OH PLEASE STOP!

I’ve been hearing these things forever, and – I have to admit – I believed them. But no more, I’m tired of it.

I am a woman and I embrace everything about it. Our hormones have a big influence on us, and yes, they make us moody, they make our bodies change, they cause our periods and pregnancies. 

And we should never ever be ashamed of any of these.

I even ditched the pill after over 10 years, and frankly I feel so much better once I stopped feeding my body chemicals to please men’s expectations that it’s my responsibility to allow them to enjoy irresponsible and uncontrolled sex with no consequences.

Your hormones are your best friends. Stop hating them and instead work with them. When you’re aligned with them, everything becomes much easier.

Pleasure is a true feminine aspect. Unfortunately, all the beautiful layers have been peeled of, reducing it only to sex. But pleasure is about much more than what happens in the bedroom (or outside of it ;p).

If you want to, you can experience pleasure even in the most boring everyday tasks. Here are some ideas:

When you eat, take your time to feel the texture of your food. Touch it, lick it, smell it. Be fully focused on your food and all the sensations (that means: no more reading or watching TV while you eat);

Next time you take a shower or a hot bath, take a moment to touch you skin and massage your body. Close your eyes, stretch and feel every drop of water on your skin. And when you’re done, don’t just rub your towel against your skin. Gently dry yourself, feeling how every fibre of your towel feels.

When applying a lotion, massage your body. You can also burn some candles and play a soft music to add to the mood.

After you take the first step outside from your home, pause, look up to the sky, close your eyes and take a deep breath thru your nose. Fill all your lungs and belly with fresh air. Then release, open your eyes and greet the sky.

Search for eye contact with strangers and gift them your smile

When paying in a shop, give a sexy look to a cashier (and not just to men!);

Notice how beautiful the people who pass you by are. Appreciate every man and woman, their physical looks, their outfits, the way they walk.

These are just some ideas, but as you can see, there is plenty of room in your daily life to add pleasure. And the more pleasure you feel on a daily basis, the more of it you’re going to feel back in your bedroom.

Sister, never ever forget your power. You are a Heroine. You were born a Heroine. Now go and create your fairy tale.

With love,

Magda Kay